Another tribute to an old friend

Finally, I got the blog link that I've been searching for more than a year.. It's not another ordinary blog. It's a blog from an important friend. It used to keep me updated with all her ups and down but since I change/formatted my PC occasionally, I've lost all the bookmarks.

Friends.. they come and go. Some will always be with you, but some will only remain in your heart as a part of your colorful memories. Good memories are meant to be kept as treasures in the life archive.. but as a human, we tend to remember all the bad stuffs happened to us. It will be haunting your life forever and sometimes can erase all the good memories. Treasure box will remain empty unless you are brave enough to fight with your own feelings and burn down your ego. It's up to you.

I choose to live with my own stupidity and maintaining my ego as long as I can. I feel like a winner and everyone is supporting me. It's like a good revenge and I can feed on it as long as I'm alive.

I was wrong. I will never be a winner when I have this guilty feeling inside me. I will never be happy when I realize that I made someone else suffer because of me. I will always be wondering what is it like if I'm the one in her shoes..


There are some confessions that I would like you to know.

I'm so damn jealous of what you have achieve.

1st, you made it to Japan. You always know how badly I wanted to further my studies in overseas. You made it first. I always regret the day that I failed to go to the interview with you. Oh please, don't say any Japanese words to me. I don't understand any of it. It made me feel bad.. really!

2nd, you found your soul mate that is perfect for you. By that time, I'm still searching and being dumped over and over again. That explained why I always avoid to share anything about my relationships because I hate the fact that I won't be able to share your happiness. How can I pretend to be happy for you when I'm in so much misery? I know, I'm being selfish..

3rd, you found a lot of new great friends there in Japan. I can't be around you every time like them. I just can pray that they will take a good care of you while I'm not around.

4th, you still can maintain your body and I can't deny the fact that you are still as beautiful as before. I went all the way through my ups and down and gaining more weight is not an option for me. It's obvious, no body (especially woman) want to be teased about their body.

..........................................

I hope that will explain everything.

I enjoy my revenge but it didn't last for long. I have this strong burden that I have to carry everyday. It became heavier when I heard stories about you.



I do understand you. I know your words can be sharper than blade but it didn't give me any wound before. I guess.. I used to be immune with that. Time made us apart and we grew up in a different environment. My immunization has completely gone and I will bleed easily. So, please.. please do something about this. I think both of us are mature enough to handle this kind of situation.

I always keep track about you, secretly. I want to know how you are doing. I want to see every important details in your life. How I wish to whisper secretly, while we are alone in a room and ask about your experience during your 'first night' and have a good tease about it. How I wish I can scream to your ears, how glad I am to see your beautiful baby. It's my ego that will never let me to do that. It's my own stupidity.

I know that my stupidity won't give us any good. Please accept my deepest, sincere apology. Forgive me for what I've done. Let's turn over a new leaf and I hope for a brighter future to fill in our memory box..

Strawberry farm, new sandal & truck attack

Saturday (26 July 2008)

We went to a PYO (Pick Your Own) farm near Lotus cars Ltd, Norwich. We had a great time picking the strawberries. They were small and not in a perfect shape (like the one sold in supermarket) but they were sweet and delicious!



Summer sales at Clark! Grab a pair of hot pink sandal for £20.. Yes, I'm a pink freak.



Sunday (27 July 2008)

Went to Donington Park Circuit (near Leicester) to see the Truck Attack. It was very unusual to see a race between big monsters like that. I'd love to see more but unfortunately I can't handle the weather. It was too hot and I'm almost fainted because of the sun. My body is still too weak to stand that kind of pressure.

Another journey to remember

Last Saturday (19th July 2008), Teddy, me and Eli (Teddy's colleague) went to the Great Yarmouth. We passed by an old wind turbine (didn't manage to get the picture) with a wonderful country sight background along the way there.

It's already summer, but I'm still shivering with cold. I can't help myself from missing the nice, hot & sunny weather in my hometown, Malaysia. My body still can't cope with this British weather.

Great Yarmouth is a lovely, clean beach with so many attractions. A lot of gambling and gaming machine along the road, just like Genting Highland in Malaysia. With this kind of unpredictable weather.. you can't really enjoy the beach. That's why you can choose to accompany yourself with other interesting activities here.



Sunday (20th July 2008), we went to the Snetterton Circuit for the Lotus Celebration day. There were four races for the Lotus on Track Elise Trophy. Support races include the magnificent GT Cup, with nearly 30 supercars including Ferrari, Porsches and Aston Martin. It was a dramatic race since there were a lot of accidents involving a lot of cars that day. Oh yes, I screamed when 2 Feraris crash in front of my eyes. This racers must be crazy, rich people with nothing to do with their money I guess.. And the winner was a Bimmer! Congrats to the driver.. who ever you are.. hehe..

My little miracle

I passed my critical first trimester stage with 'not-so-flying colors', this week. Living my everyday-boring-housewife life at home, doing the same things over and over again.

Being pregnant is a huge task for me. I'm not that kind of women who are on top of the world when they get the positive sign from the pregnancy test kit. I'm totally confused and scared.


Week 6

I fell sick after we got back from Birmingham. I thought, maybe I'm just too exhausted. I can't get up from my bed and hardly eat anything for about 1 whole week. I will throw up everything accept banana.


Week 7

1st doctor appointment. I was given folic acid and my doctor asked me to fight the morning sickness naturally. Naturally?? I guess I will be suffering for another 3-4 weeks.. I started to hate many kind of foods. I hate chicken, prawn, burger, fish, vegetables.. The smell of the foods really made me sick! Luckily I can still eat fresh fruits. No wonder I lost 7kg's of my weight..


Week 8-10

Blame it on the hormones. I'm feeling down all the time. Depressed. Still can't accept the fact that there is a little miracle growing inside me. Morning sickness add up my misery. I can't understand why people around me accept the news with joy.. and I'm not?? That explained why I took some time to break the news here.


Week 11

1st baby scan. I'm not so excited about the scan. I'm afraid that they won't find anything inside my tummy. It's hard for me to believe that I'm pregnant until that moment.. The moment I saw a tiny heartbeat beating inside me. I saw the baby moving his/her hands actively. I'm totally speechless. Can't explain my feeling that time but I kept on looking at the scan picture over and over again. Still so small (4-5 cm) but so lovely! Motherly instinct, I guess? Me? a mother? (still full with question marks until now)

Oh Happy Days..

Saturday, 5 July 2008


Lord Mayor Celebration at Norwich city center. It was a colourful and lively street all day long. I guess I'm more than lucky to celebrate it with all the citizens here.

I will never forget how fun it was to try the folk dance in the middle of Norwich street. It was great! I will never forget the feeling I felt inside me every time when I start moving along with the music beat.. I used to be a traditional dancer & I love every memory I had as a dancer.


Fun Fair at Chappelfield Garden

I really enjoy the big crowd & cheerful fun fair lights. There were a lot of games to try on. We managed to get 2 lovely soft toys!


..and I will never forget the bright and breathtaking view of fireworks from on top of the Norwich Castle.. 2 more months to go and I know that I will miss this place for sure!!



It's time to break the news..

I'm gonna have a baby!! My baby will be due around end of January 2009 and might be sharing this important date with my dear friend, Maisarah..

Looking forward to meet you, my little one!