A Journey of becoming a Mother

Hello there! Sorry for the short break. I still need time to adjust myself on how to manage my time. Obviously, being a new mom is completely changing my life. I devoted almost 80% of my ‘to-do-list’ on my little one and the rest is just enough for me to take a deep breath and relax. Life’s a chaos for me right now but it’s alright. I’m pretty confident that I will adapt to this new lifestyle soon.



Of course I still remember the promise I made on the previous entry - journey of becoming a mother. It was something that I will remember for a lifetime. Something so special.. Welcoming our new family member. Anyway, giving birth is not as scary as I always thought. I manage to get through all of this with flying colours!



14 January 2009



10.00pm


It all started with a slight cramp in my tummy. It doesn’t hurt at all and it’s just like ‘uneasy feeling’ or stomach ache that indicates your mind that you need to poop. I didn’t think it was a contraction because I always heard contraction should be so painful – 3 times more painful than period pain. Others said the pain will spread on your lower back and walking will only increase the pain. Maybe it's just Braxton Hicks. False alarm.


I started to be more concern about it when the pain keep on coming back and gone in 10 minutes time. They were getting stronger and too regular to be something else. I kept track on the time quietly and didn’t tell Teddy anything about it.




15 January 2009



1.00am ++


The ‘uneasy feeling’ was getting more intense and stayed more than a minute each time. I felt so uncomfortable that I need to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes, the same feeling when you got diarrhea.


I finally told Teddy about it and we timed the contraction. Still 10 minutes apart. I tried to sleep but that uncomfortable feeling made that impossible. I felt a weird sensation like a ripping feeling, muscles cramp in my tummy and lower back.



3.30am


The contractions were getting nearer, 5 minutes apart. Teddy told me maybe it’s time to go to the hospital. We packed and grabbed the baby bag.



4.00am


Arrived at Hospital Putrajaya. Did some 'long registration process' and I had to wait patiently for the doctor to arrive. Actually I'm not so sure why it took so long but I just have to bear with it since I'm not paying for expensive non-government hospital for first class treatment.


The nurse took me to a room and attached the baby heart monitor on my tummy. Contractions kept on coming in every 5-7 minutes apart.



5.00am


Finally, the doctor arrived. I was 3cm dilated. The nurse assisted me to the ward (ward 2B, bed no 5) while Teddy had to complete the rest of registration process.


Sadly, Teddy were told to go home because it's not during visiting hours. I felt so terrible because he's not there by my side to accompany me through out the pain.



9.15am


I lost my mucus plug - gooey deposit in my underwear, mixed with red streaks of blood. I called for assistant and the midwife took me to another room. I was 5 cm dilated.


The doctor broke my water and I felt contractions were getting stronger. I barely breath properly. I tried not to fight it and accepted that it's all normal in labor process. I set my mind to actually 'feel' the pain and try to imagine it's opening the cervix for a clear path for my baby. It did helps a lot, but I could only survived that in few seconds. It was difficult to allow the pain since your body automatically will try to do the opposite way. I called Teddy and asked him to stand by near the labor room.



9.40am


Arrived at labor room.



10.10am


8cm dilated. The midwife gave me IV drips and Teddy was called in. There's no word to describe how glad I am to see him there.


Just after he walked in the labor room, I felt a very strong contraction. In no time I was 10 cm dilated! Midwife told me it's time to push. At that stage I just wanted the baby out. I gathered all my energy and pushed with all my heart out.


Now, that was the best part. I didn't really feel the pain from contraction. There's only the overwhelming urge to push and all I could think that time was the harder I pushed, the quicker this will end. I did the 'purple pushing' technique - hold my breath to a count of ten, numerous times during one contraction.


That situation might not seem so beautiful since my face turning reddish purple, broken blood vessels and I didn't realize that I was biting my lips until my midwife told me not to do so. (The funny part was that Teddy thought I was having internal bleeding because he saw blood coming out from my mouth. Hehe..)


10.36am

I was so determined to push and it didnt took so long until I felt a big gush coming out from me. The baby was out with a lot of amnioc fluids spreading all over my midwife clothes. All the pain were magically disappeared.

I wouldn't forget that moment when Teddy recited 'Alhamdulillah' few times and kissed me on my face. Then, there it was.. The first baby cries. He was taken onto my abdomen and my heart jumped with joy to see his beautiful little face. I felt like a winner. I am a Super woman.




So, there was it! My journey of becoming a mother.




Hello there my little one.. little Teddy, baby Kimi. Sleep tight and give mommy some time to publish this entry today, will you? I love you so much! Sweet dream, my dear..

Welcome, My Little Teddy..

Dear Diary,



I'm a mother now.

15th January 2009
10.36am..
Weighing 2.9kg




It's the first time I lay my eyes on him,



my Little Teddy..

Hakimi Rossi bin Isa Yassir Arafat.






p/s: I promise I will tell you more about my journey of becoming a mother.
I can't do it now because there's someone screaming,
"I'm super hungry! Please feed me now Mommy.."

Dedicated specially for you

Hi there my Little One..


How are you? I hope you are always in the pink of health. I know that you are feeling a little bit uncomfortable inside since there is not much room for you to do somersault anymore.. but bear with me just for a little while.

Still remember the first time I knew about you? Please forgive me for what I've done. I'm in so much misery and not fully prepared for that. I threw away the pregnancy test kit immediately after I got the positive sign. I didn't even bother to keep it or atleast.. take a picture of it as a souvenir of 1 of the most historical moment in my life. (Yes, I do regret it now..) I didn't even record the date, but I guess it was on the 31st May 2008. I was so sick that time, pale and exhausted.. unable to get up from my bed for about 1 week.

I suffered for another 1 week before I finally got an appointment with the GP (General Practitioner). In UK, the process to get a treatment is completely different from Malaysia. Your Daddy have to prepare some documents before our registration accepted. Then, we have to wait another few days to meet the GP. Appointment have to be made few days in advance. The GP will check your condition and then give you drugs list that you will have to get or buy it yourself from the nearest pharmacy (eg: Guardian). We are very lucky here in Malaysia because there are a lot of hospitals/clinics that will accept patient 24/7. Just take a few simple registration process and on the spot there will be a doctor to attend you. That process somehow added my misery. I was having a major roller-coaster mood swings caused by hormonal changes in my body.

Everything change during the first time I met my midwife, the lovely Ms Allison Allen. I was treated nicely and feel great again. I was given a lot of advices and become more confident about myself. I guess, my low self-esteem of becoming a good mother did effect my emotions.

I will never forget the first time I saw you. You was 11 weeks old that time. The moment I saw you move your little fingers in my womb was so special.. I saw your tiny heart beating and you were moving around actively, giving the practitioner a hard time to capture your picture. It's a miracle of life and it's a blessed for me to share the moment with your Dad.


..........................................


Let's talk about the food we've shared since the last 9 months.


Within the first 3 months, I can hardly eat any nutritious food for you. My nausea really killing me! The smell of the foods, especially garlic will make me sick. I thought I will die from dehydration due to 6-10 trips a day to the toilet, vomiting everything I ate. I can only accept fresh fruits, especially banana. Poor Daddy. He has to prepare foods for us. He became a good cook because of you.

I was craving Malaysian dishes all the time. I guess, you are truly a Malaysian though you are 100% made in UK. Hehe.. That actually gave your Dad a lot of trouble since he have to search every Asian grocery stores in Norwich just to fulfill my wish. (The list include Curry Maggie, roti paratha, rendang, satay and etc. etc. etc. )

I was so happy when it's time to be back in our hometown in Malaysia. One of the main reason is of course - the food. I gained about 5-7 kg's of my weight just within a month we're here! Can you believe that, baby? Your weight added too.. right?


....................................................


About our journey..

It's my childhood dream to travel around Europe, especially London, Paris and Rome. I'm more than satisfied to have it all fulfilled and what made it more special is I get to share it with you.

I know, it's not fair for you since your face is not in the pictures. Insya allah, one day the 3 of us we will come back to Europe again, collecting every piece of memories we've made there..



My Little Teddy,


You will be in my arms anytime now.. It's been a wonderful time, sharing everything with you since the past 9 months. A beautiful bonding between us and an unforgettable experience to share with your Daddy.

It's not the end of our journey together, instead.. it will be the beginning of our adventures.


I'm exhausted and anticipated. I'm too tired, clumsier and feeling heavier each day. I'm tired of this pregnancy and want to end it as soon as possible.. At the same time, I'm too afraid to think about the all the pain I will have to endure during labor. I'm not so tough and easily cried for small reason. I just pray and hope that everything will be fine.

Don't worry about me. I'm going to be all right. You can decide whether to stay longer in there for another 1 or 2 weeks or come out to see the world now. I will welcome you with the warmest hugs and kisses.



Love,
Mommy.

The journey continues..

Who said my journey ended in England? Of course it will continue and getting more interesting day by day. It does not have to be an expensive trip or somewhere far far away, but as long as you are with your loved one to enjoy it.. the journey can be the sweetest thing to remember for a lifetime.

I'm proud being a Malaysian (although sometimes I do complaint about rude Malaysian drivers or ignorant salesgirls). Malaysia is full with interesting places to visit with great sunny weather. You just have to prepare an umbrella or a cap in case it's too hot or raining.

Since our anniversary is on the 22nd of December, we plan to celebrate it every year during Christmas. Last year we manage to go to Singapore for our 1st honeymoon but this year we have to go somewhere nearer because my baby's due date is just around the corner.

Our destination this year - Malacca.. listed in 1 of the UNESCO's World Heritage Historical City. It's just a stone throw from my place and still can be considered as 'safe' for me. Lets support domestic tourism!



Day 1 - 25 December 2008


4.00pm - Check in hotel (Seri Costa).

7.30pm - began hunting for FOODS!! It's one of our main event there. Malacca is very popular with the famous grilled fish (Ikan Bakar), Malay style.

So, here we are! Perkampungan Ikan Bakar Terapung, Umbai Baru. We're not so sure either this is the best place to enjoy grilled fish but we decided just to go for it. So far, it's not recommended by locals since the famous place will be either Crystal Bay, Alai or Muara Sg. Duyong.


My review.. 3 out of 5 stars. Ermm.. good but not really satisfied my stomach. (Maybe we picked the wrong stall?) It's surrounded by water and there are a lot of grilled fish stalls to choose.



Day 2 - 26 December 2008

A bright and sunny day for a seight-seeing in Malacca. Samudera Museum, Malacca river cruise, riding the 'beca' or trishaw, A Famosa, Dataran Pahlawan and bought some souvenirs.


6.30 pm - Grilled fish (again)!! This time we head to Muara Sungai Duyong to try their famous dish. It was quite hard to find but thanks to Teddy's new gadget - GPS navigator, we managed to get there on time.



Recommended! 5 out of 5 stars. Hehe.. Delicious grilled fish added with pandan chicken and mouth watering nasi lemak. Great view and fast service. You need to go there earlier before night fall or else it will be very crowded there.

After that, we went for a ride on one of the biggest portable Ferris wheel, Eye on Malaysia at the scenic mouth of the Malacca River.



Day 3 - 27 December 2008


It's raining cats and dogs the whole morning. Had our buffet breakfast (not so grand and I really feel like going to the mamak restaurant in front of our hotel for roti canai) and check out.

We went straight to Mini Malaysia at Ayer Keroh. Enjoy the beautiful buildings of traditional Malay houses and dance performance there.

Ok, that's all for now. Will continue with another interesting journey later. A journey of becoming a mom, perhaps?


Happy new year 2009, Selamat menyambut awal Muharam 1430 and have a nice day, everyone!!

1st Anniversary & others

I hate to skip my stories but laziness seems like celebrating its victory. I don't want to forget any important details of my life, especially all the interesting journey through out this year. It's almost new year 2009 but my story is still 'hanging' around September 2008.

Let me just highlight some important details and summarize it into photo blogging. Easier for me to remember. Hey, photo speaks louder than words right?



15 September 2008

Our last day in the UK

16 September 2008








1 day transit in Dubai. Hot + burning + exhausting day since we're fasting that time.









1~4 October 2008.

Aidilfitri 2008

No new baju kurung for me. I'm having a hard time struggling to wear the clothes that fit my growing baby bump. I end up borrowing my mother's loose baju kurung.

Did you watch me in Majalah 3 for Raya edition? I didn't. It was aired on the 4th day of raya, 4th October 2008. Click here for online version. (Majalah 3/episode 39/4 Oktober 08 - part 3). Unfortunately, you have to register first to watch it. Don't click the link if you are not motivated to do so.

Not only that, our picture was also out in the paper, Utusan Malaysia for the 'Salam Perantauan' section. hahaha.. Gila glamour right? Click here to see it.



2, 11 and 18 October 2008





Congratulations to the newly wed couples..

My dear childhood friend ~ Yati & Jebid (2 October 2008). She was so gorgeous that day and have my eyes green with jealousy on her pretty wedding dress. With that slim figure, she can absolutely wears anything and still look amazing with or without make up.

My beloved friend, Ayuni & Zaki (used to be my ex. hurmm?? hehe..) on the 11th of October 2008. Yes, we have a very unique and special relationship. We were big-time enemies at first but then became closer as we knew each other. How can you hate a person with a lovely character like hers? Trust me, you can't.

My cute panda lovers friend, Rudiah & partner (sorry dear, I didn't remember your hubby's name) on 18 October 2008. She needs to believe me that she looks sweeter without the specs and no dear.. your face didn't look 'tembam' at all without them.



15 November 2008


Finally, a new home! We rent a small apartment somewhere in Puchong. At first we plan to buy a perfect & cozy house for our small family but after considering the downtime of the world economy now, we postpone it for next time.

Thanks to A'an, Angah & Lily for visiting us at our new home. (20 December 2008)







......



..Other important updates..



The nyanyaw(s)

They are more happier and healthy under my mom's supervision. My mom really loves them and they have become a part of our family.





Our little one




It's time for a countdown.. We are doing well. I'm lucky that I don't have any swollen feet or waddling my way through out the street. Back pain is common but not so torturing. I can still bear with it. Itchiness and stretch mark are the biggest problems. I have used up bottles of lotions, cocoa butters and baby oils but still can't really solve the problems. I just have to pray for God to have more mercy on my skin.

Pregnancy is a beautiful moment in life. It might occurs few times for the lucky ones but we will never know when or how. Since I can't freeze the time, I want to do something to capture this moment as a part of my journey through life's souvenir. I wanted to do a 3D or 4D scan but it's already too late. It must been done before week 32 or it will be almost impossible to view the baby since it's got too big and cramping your tummy. Another choice is making a belly casting but I'm not sure about this idea since I will find it disturbing and catching dust at home. I prefer a simple, modern home with less deco. No flowers or big, carved furniture.

The perfect solution is doing home made pregnancy portraits. Home studio. No DSLR or any special lighting effect. I'm more than satisfied and happy with the results.




..The Marriage..

Yesterday was our 1st Anniversary!

We have a romantic candle light dinner at home and Teddy bought a lovely bouquet of flowers for me.

(22 December '07~22 December '08)

To my beloved hubby @ Teddy..

Thank you for always being there for me

.. and always telling me how beautiful I am
.. and telling me the girl next to our table is fatter than me
(even though I know mostly it's a lie)
.. and open up the car's window quickly when you fart
.. and comfort me with your smiles
.. and hug me when I'm cold
.. and stand up my cooking
.. and laugh at my stupid jokes
.. and picking up the rubbish
.. and do the laundry
.. and kiss me at my forehead every night before I fall asleep
.. and make me happy everyday
.. and etc. etc. etc.

.. and I'm glad you are my husband. I love you so much!!

Happy 1st Anniversary..