The truth

Dear Diary..

I need drugs. Real kick ass drugs that can keep my eyes awake 24/7.
I need more energy to support my daily needs..
Not just being able to serve my family..
But for me, myself.. My own needs.

My mind keep telling me to get up and do something but every part of my body is going on a rebel.
To type this via phone while having both eyes open seem kinda hard to do as my half-concious mind going on and off in sleep mode.

To sleep means to waste my precious little time.
The only moment I got to do something that I enjoy.
My only me-time, when no body touching me..
No mouth to be fed..
No cries or shouting to be heard..
..and I finally get to be alone with my phone or pc..

It won't last for long as another few minutes/hours interval, my best moment will be disturb by my baby waking up in the middle of the night.

These things will past in another few years.
For now, I can only pray for Allah to have more mercy on my family and me.
I need to be stronger each day.
I need to take care of myself first..so that I can serve others.
I need to keep my mind focus and entertaint myself with things that made me happy.

The best treatment for now is my baby's smiles.
No matter how bad my day is, her smile never fails to make me feel better.
I have no excuse to feel bad about myself as I am blessed with a caring and understanding husband.
I am a lucky mom because my Teddy Jr. Is a brialiant young man.

Ok.
My time is out.
It's the regular interval disturbant.
Need to put my baby back to slumberland..